I'm back...and I came over all peckish

Excuses, excuses. I was sick. I was overworked. I was forced to visit friends and family in California, drink too much wine every night, then plop Baby Balsamic in front of vintage "Pink Panther" cartoons while Mommy slept "just a little longer."

And this will be short, because I have to get to sleep, but here's some previews of coming attractions:

-- Condiment SMACKDOWN - Branston Pickle vs. Branston Piccalilli! Two condiments walk in, one walks out on my hot dog....

-- Emergency Condiments - how to make a taste treat out of little plastic packets.

-- What the hell is wrong with a store that stops selling a mustard that I want to buy that they used to carry?

But first, in praise of French's mustard. I was in the airport and I hungered, I hungered deeply and powerfully (or as they say in a Monty Python sketch, "I came over all peckish"). I went to one of those hideous little food places they have in the airport where they charge you crazy amounts of money for little pieces of food. I got an everything bagel and asked for red onions. No red onions. I need a little savory flavor with my bagel so I hunted for salt and vinegar chips, then I had to just buy the damn bagel the way it was because Baby Balsamic was about to try and board a flight to New York. I looked at my limp bagel with it's pallid cream cheese. A tear struggled out of my eye and danced down my cheek, so I went to get napkin and noticed the condiment bins. Salt, pepper, ketchup, mayonnaise, relish, and mustard! I was drawn to the yellow. I put two packets on my bagel and my GOD, it was refreshing! Better than coffee. The mustard gave my tongue a little sizzle and the oh-so-delightful bitterness made up for Baby Balsamic wetting the seat on the plane.

Condiment Grrl