Periodic Table of Condiments

I was chatting with a friend at work today about my blog and she mentioned that she had overheard someone in a restaurant earlier in the week saying that it was National Condiment Day. Well, I was naturally horrified that I had no knowledge of this extremely important day. I promptly googled the term and came up with a strange mention on a random blog which led me to this:

Periodic Table of Condiments

Actually, its official title is "Table of Condiments That Periodically Go Bad." Can I tell you how much I love that statement? It's so evocative; it could be a strange Restoration play or a Far Side cartoon (remember "When Clowns Go Bad?" And I think there was one where the ketchup or something was robbing the food in the fridge. I miss Gary Larsen).

But this excellent resource tells us important things like how long you can keep that blue cheese dressing in your refridgerator. Did you know that Vegemite only lasts two months? You only have 3 days to get through that Au Jus sauce. And my favorite, Baco Bits, has an N/A beneath it. I assume that after the Nuclear Armagedon, that all the surviving cockroaches will have to eat will be Baco Bits sprinkled on Twinkies.

Now I've come over all peckish. Maybe I'll head to Portland so I can get a Bacon Doughnut.

Condiment Grrl