Truffle Honey, oh, Truffle Honey

If condiments were people, I would turn truffle honey into a doe-eyed young man with large light brown eyes, longish hair the color of summer oak, a smile that could melt the frozen heart of Ann Coulter, two dimples shining on either side of delicious lips. My Truffle Honey would be dressed in Renaissance-Faire type clothes - leather pants, puffy pirate-like shirt. You know, the type of clothing that could turn the Elephant Man into liquid sex.

On parchment, I would write truffle honey a note:

"Dear Truffle Honey, do you love me? Check yes or no. Yours forever."

Man, this condiment is the FULL PACKAGE - savory, yet sweet with the consistency of, well, honey. These days, most condiments are trying to have it all and be sweet and savory at the same time. Some succeed. Some fail.

Honey already has it's beautiful color going for it. When you add the truffle in, all you see are a few tantalizing slivers of dark mushroom floating in it. I know that doesn't sound appetizing, but the flavor is so delicate and surprising. On first taste, you think "well, I don't really taste the truffle," but then BANG, there's the truffle taste racing in for the finish. It's surprising. And I still can't find words to describe the truffle taste, given that I normally hate mushrooms. It's rich and musky. It's strong. It tastes like a large forest after a long, cleansing rainstorm.

My one criticism is, just like the pretty young man dressed for a Faire, I'm not sure where to take the honey. I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to put it on or to mix it with. I'm very protective of it and I don't want to waste it yet. I have yet to try it in the Balsamic dressing I adore so much. Perhaps, that is my next step. I guess I've just been enjoying keeping my truffle honey to myself. Dipping my pinky in for a taste here and there. I sigh and close my eyes, reveling in its strange flavor.

The brand I have - a Christmas present, of course - is Italian. Mielo eon Tartufo Bianco. And it's all written in fancy script on a teeny, tiny little jar made by a company called Tartuflanghe. Check out their website for other delicious products made with truffle (a creamy parmesan reggiano with truffle in particular is very tempting). You need lots of Euro.

If anyone has any suggestions please let me know. For now, I will keep my handsome young truffle honey all to myself....

Condiment Grrl

Truffle Salt heralds a return!

Hey all,

Sorry I took the summer off - I got carried away with trips to California and cruises to Alaska.

It was my first time on a cruise ship and I was NOT impressed by the food. And don't get me started on the condiments. It was really about quantity, not about dipping sauce. But I do like laying around a boat for a week. And Baby Balsamic made quite a mess of herself with one of the finest condiments in the history of indulgent delights - hot fudge sauce. And we saw a bear. And bear poop - which just might be a condiment to SOME species somewhere.

Anyway, I belong to a delightful foodie group - Memento dining club! Here's our deal - there are six couples (actually 5 couples and 1 delightful woman with enough looks and cooking skills for 2!) We meet up about every 2 months for a night of gastronomic excess - 2 appetizers, 1 salad, 2 entrees, 1 dessert. The person making the dessert course comes up with their dessert and tells the people making entree 2. The person making entree 2 comes up with something that would precede the dessert well, then tells the person making entree 1 what entree 2 is. They do not tell what dessert is going to be. So, you only know what's coming after you, not what's coming before you. And we have themes - asparagus, farmer's market, tropical rainbow, etc.

We've had some amazing dinners. Some highlights that I will blog about in the future:

- cured lemon peel preserve - an amazing salad garnish
- bacon infused old fashioned - nothing takes the sting off whiskey like bacon fat!
- creme fraiche - apply to the thigh via the mouth. Totally worth the tight pants the next day!

However, at our last dinner, we were served a rich pasta dish that had a flavor I hadn't experienced before. It was musky and sophisticated. Salty, but with a range of savory flavor.

Truffle salt. So intense. So different. Putting it on eggs or pasta or a salad is like looking meeting up with an old dear friend and discovering that they also understand the complete mystery of the night skies, that they've seen the seven wonders of the world, peeked under Nefertiti's mask. The truffle flavor has so much depth and complexity and history. It's hard to explain that it tastes old, but it's not old like spoiled or musty. It sparks memories. It's the fourth dimension.

Of course, truffles are incredibly expensive. They were selling them at my favorite high-end market - Metropolitan Market - for $159 a pound. The jar of truffle salt I bought for Mr. Mustard cost about $20. But man, it was worth draining Baby Balsamic's college fund for this!

The brand I've been using is Casina Rossi Truffle & Salt. Their website is down, which allowed me to find a new website name I adore - www.thefrenchybee.com.

Truffle salt is a great way to experience the truffle flavor combined with an everyday flavor (salt).

I highly recommend it. Next time I take a cruise, I want it to be one of those luxury ones where they have it on all the tables. Yum.

Condiment Grrl

A Nose for Truffles

Here's a Condiment Grrl secret: I was switched at birth with Paris Hilton. It's very clear from my tastes and desires that I was born to live a life swathed in baby mink fur, bathing in endangered seal oil, while a diverse ethnic group of minions buffed my pink toes. And, bien sur, I would be feasting on the finest that the condiment world has to offer, including lots and lots of lots of things involving truffles.

You see, I'm a newcomer to mushrooms. When I turned three and began to cultivate a more discerning diet (not unlike, sigh, my own Baby Balsamic), I summarily rejected all mushrooms from my diet. They were yucky, musty, overrated.

They were just bad. But I've recently discovered that I have a taste for the more expensive mushrooms: Chantrelles, Portobellos, and, of course, truffles. They were intriguing, strange, with exotic hints of faraway places that might have bred the ethnically diverse minions who would one day serve my every need.

The truffles is the newest discovery. An old friend visited and brought me a selection of delicious condiments, including an Olive Truffle paste that absolutely floored me. The "je ne sais quoi" of the truffles lightens the usual saltiness of the Olive paste. It's one of those foods that you try and remember where you tasted THAT flavor before - the South of France? Chicago? Fife? In some ways, the very distinct yet almost elusive flavor of the truffle is like a past life portal that almost makes you remember a different life. One of satin nightgowns and 3 a.m. scotch and lots and lots and lots of hair gel. One where you slept in a giant white fluffy bed with rose red curtains and were awakened at 11 with a tray of coffee, orange juice, and an omelet lightly dusted with truffle extract.

I can almost taste it. Ahhh...the condiment as a portal to past and possible lives. Dip into it carefully.

Condiment Grrl