A Condiment Threat to our Homeland Security
Well, people, I have been bad about blogging, it hasn't been for a dearth of condiments, but more for a dearth of new cravings. I have been in a condiment rut - only desiring the proven toppings for familiar dishes - Robert Rothschild caper, lemon, mustard sauce to go with my sausages. Soy sauce and vinegar on my rice. Lots and lots and lots of black truffle salt on my salads.
How I love black truffle salt. It makes every salad taste like an exotic found meal - a deep hint at what more there could be.
I've been working hard, hence my condiment rut. It's hard to open yourself to new experiences, when you have a short time to wind down and you often want to take the path of least resistance to the condiment that will relax me and allow my meal to achieve its maximum desirability.
However, now that summer's here, I am starting to open to new things, new flavors. My birthday was last weekend and some lovely foodie friends gifted me with a lucious looking jar of Artichoke and Seville Orange Chutney. Mmmmm....so evocative, so promising.
As I was at my mother's to visit Baby Balsamic who is spending two weeks with Big Mama Salsa (aka my mother), I packed the jar in my bag to return to the frozen Northwest. This condiment just might lift me from my accessorizing doldrums.
I didn't count on Homeland Security. (No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!)
I was taking my bags through the x-ray machine, when an earnest young officer asked to go through my bag. Well, what am I going to say? He starts flinging my underwear and pink pajama bottoms all over the table, but then finds the offending jar - my NEW CHUTNEY!
"It's sealed. See, I never opened it." I don't know why I thought that would make a difference.
He looked sheepish and almost handed it back to me, then stopped. "I'm sorry. It's over the amount. We'll have to take it."
OOOOOHHHH NOOOOO! But what could I do? Those are the rules.
Years ago, I was traveling out of Israel after a friend's wedding. As you would expect, there were very very long security lines. A man was complaining bitterly to his wife, until a woman in front of him turned and said "Would you prefer there were a bomb on the plane?"
I'd rather they do all they need to do to keep me and all other travelers safe.
But, the memory of that lost condiment did drive me to the store to purchase a new jar of Madras Curry mustard for that exotic touch. Just the promise of it drove me out of my rut.
And as for the young security guard - he seemed quite sharp, but you have to hope that they're being sharp when real bad people try and get bad things through security.
Maybe he went home and consumed the my Artichoke and Seville Orange Chutney. Maybe it's mix of vegetables and savory flavor improved his health and the oranges sharpened his eyesight. Maybe the next day his improved senses were able to stop a bad guy at Security.
And all thanks to Condiments. Now I have to go work on a screenplay.
Condiment Grrl
How I love black truffle salt. It makes every salad taste like an exotic found meal - a deep hint at what more there could be.
I've been working hard, hence my condiment rut. It's hard to open yourself to new experiences, when you have a short time to wind down and you often want to take the path of least resistance to the condiment that will relax me and allow my meal to achieve its maximum desirability.
However, now that summer's here, I am starting to open to new things, new flavors. My birthday was last weekend and some lovely foodie friends gifted me with a lucious looking jar of Artichoke and Seville Orange Chutney. Mmmmm....so evocative, so promising.
As I was at my mother's to visit Baby Balsamic who is spending two weeks with Big Mama Salsa (aka my mother), I packed the jar in my bag to return to the frozen Northwest. This condiment just might lift me from my accessorizing doldrums.
I didn't count on Homeland Security. (No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!)
I was taking my bags through the x-ray machine, when an earnest young officer asked to go through my bag. Well, what am I going to say? He starts flinging my underwear and pink pajama bottoms all over the table, but then finds the offending jar - my NEW CHUTNEY!
"It's sealed. See, I never opened it." I don't know why I thought that would make a difference.
He looked sheepish and almost handed it back to me, then stopped. "I'm sorry. It's over the amount. We'll have to take it."
OOOOOHHHH NOOOOO! But what could I do? Those are the rules.
Years ago, I was traveling out of Israel after a friend's wedding. As you would expect, there were very very long security lines. A man was complaining bitterly to his wife, until a woman in front of him turned and said "Would you prefer there were a bomb on the plane?"
I'd rather they do all they need to do to keep me and all other travelers safe.
But, the memory of that lost condiment did drive me to the store to purchase a new jar of Madras Curry mustard for that exotic touch. Just the promise of it drove me out of my rut.
And as for the young security guard - he seemed quite sharp, but you have to hope that they're being sharp when real bad people try and get bad things through security.
Maybe he went home and consumed the my Artichoke and Seville Orange Chutney. Maybe it's mix of vegetables and savory flavor improved his health and the oranges sharpened his eyesight. Maybe the next day his improved senses were able to stop a bad guy at Security.
And all thanks to Condiments. Now I have to go work on a screenplay.
Condiment Grrl
Labels: Artichoke and Seville Orange Chutney, Homeland Security, Madras Curry mustard
posted by CondimentGrrl at 11:14 PM
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