The Vegemite got me down...
I've been away for a while - very busy, but honestly if I had to trace to one moment when I had to take a break, it was when I tasted vegemite.
I had only heard of it in that Men at Work song, but a "friend" brought me back a jar from Australia. "You have to try this" he said. "Why?" Said I, innocent naive, not knowing what was next. "You just have to."
Those of you who have tasted vegemite will know what happens next. Will even in your minds hurl yourselves forward to stop the spoon from reaching my mouth. I can see you, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
But yes. I tried it. Oh Jesus, Mary, and Oprah - the HORROR! THE HORROR! VEGEMITE IS PEOPLE IT'S PEOPLE!
Not really, but it is mealy, bitter paste. It's like someone scraped the floor of a biker bar after a particuliarly rowdy Octoberfest ended with a big fight, lots of vomiting, and people's underwear all over the floor. Extremely nasty.
Why? I asked myself, Why?
I went to the source, Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vegemite:
"Vegemite is made from used brewers' yeast extract, a by-product of beer manufacturing, various vegetables, wheat and spice additives."
That's your friggin' condiment? Seriously? Okay, all props to the Aussies man because that shit is hardcore!
And check out WHY it was created:
"Vegemite was invented in 1922[3] by food technologist Cyril P. Callister when, following the disruption of British Marmite imports after World War I, his employer, the Australian company Fred Walker & Co., gave him the task of developing a spread from the used yeast being dumped by breweries."
"Hey you, Cyril, can you find a way for us to sell our garbage! That would be awesome! We'll have shrimp on the barbie and by you a bee-ahr and all that. Mate."
Apologies to my Australian friends for my attempt at Australian.
And this part ESPECIALLY cracked me up:
"Vegemite first appeared on the market in 1923 with advertising emphasising the value of Vegemite to children's health but failed to sell very well"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Any parent with a child who will only eat healthy things wrapped in a sugar coated pancake or on top of pizza will find that especially amusing. I can only imagine well meaning parents, "Here honey have a spoonful of this yummy remains of the brewery process. Yum yum yum!"
Okay, all frivolity aside, does anyone actually have a good recipe using vegemite? Because I will try it. I really really will. But I will have a jar of Norman Bishop Dill Garlic mustard on hand to cleanse my palate afterwards, because, seriously.
Peace, love, and condiments
Condiment Grrl
I had only heard of it in that Men at Work song, but a "friend" brought me back a jar from Australia. "You have to try this" he said. "Why?" Said I, innocent naive, not knowing what was next. "You just have to."
Those of you who have tasted vegemite will know what happens next. Will even in your minds hurl yourselves forward to stop the spoon from reaching my mouth. I can see you, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
But yes. I tried it. Oh Jesus, Mary, and Oprah - the HORROR! THE HORROR! VEGEMITE IS PEOPLE IT'S PEOPLE!
Not really, but it is mealy, bitter paste. It's like someone scraped the floor of a biker bar after a particuliarly rowdy Octoberfest ended with a big fight, lots of vomiting, and people's underwear all over the floor. Extremely nasty.
Why? I asked myself, Why?
I went to the source, Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vegemite:
"Vegemite is made from used brewers' yeast extract, a by-product of beer manufacturing, various vegetables, wheat and spice additives."
That's your friggin' condiment? Seriously? Okay, all props to the Aussies man because that shit is hardcore!
And check out WHY it was created:
"Vegemite was invented in 1922[3] by food technologist Cyril P. Callister when, following the disruption of British Marmite imports after World War I, his employer, the Australian company Fred Walker & Co., gave him the task of developing a spread from the used yeast being dumped by breweries."
"Hey you, Cyril, can you find a way for us to sell our garbage! That would be awesome! We'll have shrimp on the barbie and by you a bee-ahr and all that. Mate."
Apologies to my Australian friends for my attempt at Australian.
And this part ESPECIALLY cracked me up:
"Vegemite first appeared on the market in 1923 with advertising emphasising the value of Vegemite to children's health but failed to sell very well"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Any parent with a child who will only eat healthy things wrapped in a sugar coated pancake or on top of pizza will find that especially amusing. I can only imagine well meaning parents, "Here honey have a spoonful of this yummy remains of the brewery process. Yum yum yum!"
Okay, all frivolity aside, does anyone actually have a good recipe using vegemite? Because I will try it. I really really will. But I will have a jar of Norman Bishop Dill Garlic mustard on hand to cleanse my palate afterwards, because, seriously.
Peace, love, and condiments
Condiment Grrl
Labels: vegemite
posted by CondimentGrrl at 10:30 PM
3 Comments:
Like most Americans you probably used too much and just on its own. Vegemite is basically an MSG paste, it enhances flavors but on its own it sucks. You need just a little bit with butter or cheese on bread and it's great.
You probably ate it like an American. http://youtu.be/wa1ivhMrWBY
Thanks for your input on condiments as a vegan.
Post a Comment
<< Home