How things work in the Condiment world, Part 1

Today, I was strolling down the condiment aisle of our local upscale supermarket. It's a place that I come to when I need to clear my head or fondle a pickled onion or two. Now, it is a sad fact of life that I can find no supermarket that carries Norman Bishop's Garlic Dill mustard. Not one. Not even Larry's or Whole Foods. It's like a satanic cabal is working its magic to separate me from my favorite mustard. I had already filled out a suggestion card to the market to no avail.

I expressed my feelings on this sad state of affairs to my friend and noted that while the store did carry other Norman Bishop products, it did not carry what I will now refer to as G*D mustard. I also noted that while they did carry two varieties of Edmond Fallot mustards, they did not carry my favorite blend: Edmond Fallot Honey & Balsamic Dijon mustard.

Then, a voice behind me said, "I know why that is."

I quickly turned, expecting the Condiment Angel to appear (think of the Great Pumpkin, only more edible). There was a woman with a clipboard and a shopping cart.

"Distributors will not sell certain lines to some stores. They only have a limited amount for their area, so they will only supply them to select stores."

I proceeded to wax rhapsodic about G*D mustard. A smiling man in an apron appeared behind the woman.

"Yeah, the Norman Bishop salesperson doesn't really offer us that much. They're not that interested."

Well, dear reader, I have never in my life contemplated a career in Sales. But I would contemplate a career in sales of Norman Bishop products, if my blog didn't require me to keep an objective tongue. I said this to the young man and he said, "You've already sold it to me through your passion." He provided me his card and asked me to drop off an empty jar, but I offered to drop off a full jar. And no, I did not offer to then lick it off his supine body. I only do that with Mr. Mustard.

I thought it was interesting that what you see in the market is controlled by the whims of salespeople and distributors. I'm still not convinced some of them aren't in league with the satanic cabal.

Now I must run to order a case of my G*D mustard so I can ensure the condiment lovers of the world have easier access to it.

Good night,

Condiment Grrl