A Plate is Not a Condiment

I was at the cafeteria at work last week, when I noticed an innocuous little placard next to the napkins and plastic forks: "Condiments: 6" paper plate - .15, fork .05."

Look, god knows I am willing to stretch the definition of the word condiment. In my charming childhood story of delighting in the treat of whole cloves of garlic with a tall glass of milk, I am still unsure which of the two was a condiment, or if a condiment was even involved. Officially, garlic might be the condiment, but it depends on your preference and tastes. Which of the flavors did I savor as I crunched the garlic, then took a sip of cool milk? I haven't done this for years and I may just have to right now to see which I enjoyed more. Or if, in fact, in my old age, I have lost the taste for this childhood experience like the delight I used to take in walking the sewer tunnels that ran under our neighborhood. A fun memory, but not something I would willingly do now that I've been participating in the creation of sewer runoff for many years.

So, today, I will try a clove of garlic with a glass of milk. And I will report back to you.

Condiment Grrl