From Bacon to Habanero...

Continuing my musings on condiments discovered in Portland.

I blogged a little bit about the Portland Farmers Market, which is unbelievably fabulous with all kinds of artisanal cheeses, lamb sausage, legal non-hallucinogenic mushrooms, and lots and lots and lots of fresh, locally-made condiments. This is one of the food waves of the 21st century that I truly appreciate - a huge variety of non-mass produced condiments that don't contain lots of chemicals, just copious amounts of vinegar, garlic, ginger, chipotle (I swear, this has become the Paris Hilton of condiment ingredients).

We were on a bit of a budget and had to save money for the Bacon Bar, so I had to limit myself to one jar, so after sampling a few booths, I settled on the Rose City Pepperheads extremely spicy Garlic Ginger BBQ, Dipping & Cooking Jelly. Now I will tell you why this Jelly is a Jelly amongst Jellies - it burned my tongue. In an oh-so-good way. It's sweet, but ginger, garlic, and habanero gang up to light a fire under the sweet jelly's ass. It's really complex and very addictive - it's one of the few condiments that actually deliver a taste of each advertised ingredient. And I like the fact that is has a simpler name, unlike some of the Pepperheads other products, like Pomegranate Pizazz. Just Ginger Garlic, which almost lulls you into a overspiced stir-fry state.

God, in life we need more Ginger Garlic experiences. A taste, smell or idea that is consumed innocently and opens up our pores to the beauty and comprehensive spiciness and kick-assedness of it all.

Quick note: Thus far, I have only tried this on crackers and salami, but I will try preparing a stir-fry with it soon.

Condiment Grrl

Bacon Donut at Voodoo Doughnut!

So, this weekend, Mr. Mustard, Baby Balsamic, and myself tootling down to Portland for a party of a whole bunch of old friends and quickly lost ourselves in the delights of this city that really managed to get everything right:

- a great downtown served by an excellent train service.
- amazing restaurants
- lively neighborhoods, many of which have their own movie theater
- lots of McMinnamins which means great pub food while watching above-mentioned movies
- Excellent condiments at a diverse variety of locations, including PastaWorks, the amazing Portland Farmer's Market, and Voodoo Doughnut!

I blogged about Voodoo Doughnut before because they deserve the Nobel Peace Prize for using bacon as a condiment on a Maple Bar. Now, until recently, I had only heard of them on Anthony Bourdain's show. They were but the rumor of the promised land, the Sanctuary to my very own Logan-like run. They have fruit loops and oreos and marshmallows on all sizes of donut.

We found the shop on the edge of downtown in a slightly run-down, but rapidly gentrifying neighborhood. On the wall next to the store was a picture advertising "Fetish Night" with a woman with metal spikes through the skin in her back. The storefront is a small door on a large building with a giant Voodoo Doughnut sign dwarfing the entrance. It felt more like a club entrance than the gateway to Paradise. On entry, you find a very small area for the patrons to salivate over the offerings. There's lots of merchandise (some very attractive t-shirts, if you feel like buying your beloved condiment grrl a present) pinned to very dark walls and death metal punk blaring from overhead speakers. There's one small service counter with a rotating display case to the left which contains one kind of all the donuts they have available.

Remembering poor Comte's experience with them being out of the bacon bars, I quickly scanned the rotating case. And I saw one. And it glowed with beauty and joy; the two perfectly crispy pieces of bacon nesting in a slick icing of maple. I am salivating as I write this, it looked so freaking good. There were people ahead of us in line and I fretted and listened to their orders, worrying they would snatch up the last bacon bar. But they did not and when we reached the front of the line, we got a pink marshmallow donut for BB, and a lovely young woman with many piercings and tattoos delivered unto me the last bacon bar.

We took it back to the car and waited for BB to consume her pink donut, then sink into a deep sleep before consuming the Bacon Bar. And it was....AMAZING!!!

I know you were waiting for me to write that it disappointed me, but it did not. The maple glaze wasn't too sweet, which meant that you really got the combination of the maple and the bacon, versus a think sweet soup that comes atop many other donuts. The bacon was the perfect crispness, not greasy at all.

It was a really good donut. A really, really, really good donut.

Get thee to Portland now. Pictures tomorrow.

Condiment Grrl