A Penchant for French's
Now we all know that I am a big fat liberal fancy schmancy, wine and cheese lovin' liberal with a preference for fancy pants, expensive condiments made with ingredients like tumeric, truffle oil and the tears of Larry Craig. Hee hee. I just made that one up. But that's a different blog posting, "Condiments to salve your wounded spirits after you've been caught soliciting anonymous man-on-man action in a public restroom and you're a bigoted homophobic Republican Senator."
Perhaps the Senator and I would share a bottle of French's mustard, the ubiquitous yellow substance found in baseball parks and most suburban homes. Sweeter and lighter than the murkier and more French Dijon mustard, it still has quite a bite and can induce extreme "mustard whoops" (from the Condiment Grrl dictionary: "a loud whooping sound emitted by someone who's just imbibed a large spoonful of mustard."). The Senator would be able to express his grief at being caught out with his pants down and cover it up by saying it was all due to the mustard. For me, it helps me get over this nasty cough that I just can't shake. But a dip of chicken or mashed potatoes (OMG -- mashed potatoes with mustard -- one word: SOGOOD!) and my chest feels a bit clearer and I am able to at least contemplate a Suduko puzzle.
You see, mustard contains turmeric, which has been found to reduce the prospect of Alzheimer's. It's in curry, so Alzheimer's is virtually unheard of in India, where they still die of quaint third-world diseases like Malaria.
Tonight, I'm going to try French's on a London Broil. Yummy!
I don't know what the Senator is trying, but I'm sure it's not what he really wants.
Condiment Grrl
Perhaps the Senator and I would share a bottle of French's mustard, the ubiquitous yellow substance found in baseball parks and most suburban homes. Sweeter and lighter than the murkier and more French Dijon mustard, it still has quite a bite and can induce extreme "mustard whoops" (from the Condiment Grrl dictionary: "a loud whooping sound emitted by someone who's just imbibed a large spoonful of mustard."). The Senator would be able to express his grief at being caught out with his pants down and cover it up by saying it was all due to the mustard. For me, it helps me get over this nasty cough that I just can't shake. But a dip of chicken or mashed potatoes (OMG -- mashed potatoes with mustard -- one word: SOGOOD!) and my chest feels a bit clearer and I am able to at least contemplate a Suduko puzzle.
You see, mustard contains turmeric, which has been found to reduce the prospect of Alzheimer's. It's in curry, so Alzheimer's is virtually unheard of in India, where they still die of quaint third-world diseases like Malaria.
Tonight, I'm going to try French's on a London Broil. Yummy!
I don't know what the Senator is trying, but I'm sure it's not what he really wants.
Condiment Grrl
posted by CondimentGrrl at 2:57 PM
1 Comments:
True, even the lowly French's gets my vote when presented with the typical (non) choice of of which condiment to use on just about anything in a restaurant setting.
Although, if I have the option of dipping my fried spuds in Tartar Sauce, I will almost always go that way instead.
And good to know about the Turmeric; at the rate I go through it, I should have the cognitive agility of a 30 year-old aeronautical engineer for the rest of my natural life.
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