When life hands you artichoke hearts, make dip
Sometimes I don’t know if I would exist as the person that I am without the discovery of the canning and jarring processes. I peruse my pantry and my refrigerator and count the jars and cans of the various divine mixtures that I JUST CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT!
During a dark night of the soul when there was no happy musical on Turner Classic Movies, I began reading the list of ingredients and silently cringe at some of the “partially hydrogenate soybean oils” and “palm oils.” There are many great brands that dispense delicious mostly natural products, but how hard could it be to create my own condiments?
The answer is yes, of course, you CAN make your own condiments. The key is confidence and knowing what you want and like, and the operative word here is confidence.
When I was but a child (well, a teenager, but that seems like a child now), I loved acting. I was going to be a stage and movie star! You’ll see! You’ll all see and envy me! That hasn’t happened yet. But when I was in college, I began to realize that I didn’t like acting all that much, but *I* could never write a play. Only “other people” wrote plays. It wasn’t until later when I was improving a piece that I realized that I could, in fact, tell other people what to say and they would say it. I could write a play!
So, I started writing plays, but, I thought to myself, I could NEVER write a book. Why, that was just too hard. Only special people did that, people who had been to literary studies in small towns in Colorado. Then, I just started writing a book and I even managed to finish it. But I could never write a blog, I thought, but then…Oh, that’s a lie. Even I know that ANYONE can write a blog!
I decided to apply my can-do attitude toward the creation of an artichoke dip. I took a can of Trader Joe’s artichoke hearts. Please note that these are packed in water, so there’s no extra oils included. I chopped them up and dumped them in a bowl. Mayonnaise goes with everything, so I dumped some of that in. Balsamic vinegar, of course. I tossed in some julienned sun-dried tomatoes (drained of additional oils), some non-fat plain soy yogurt (it’s a good way to cut down on your mayonnaise content and still have a creamy consistency), and then I made a fatal mistake: I added some of my very favorite Norman Bishop Garlic Dill mustard and it just didn’t work with the other flavors in that context. So, I dumped more mayonnaise in to dilute it, discovered the mixture was too creamy, opened another can of artichoke hearts and put THOSE in, but ultimately ended up with a dish that I snuck onto the serving table, hoping that no one would ask about the travesty that was the artichoke dip.
But, I continued my experiments and this weekend, I managed to find the perfect combination: one can of Artichoke Hearts, ¼ - ½ of a cup of sun-dried tomatoes (drained of excess oil), a dollop (a heaping teaspoon) of low-fat mayonnaise, a dollop of non-fat plain soy yogurt, a dollop Walla Walla Sweet Onion mustard (just creamy and light enough to blend in with the other ingredients), a tablespoon or so of lemon juice, a tablespoon or so of balsamic vinegar, salt, pepper and you have nirvana on a sesame cracker.
Go ahead and try this at home and mix things up as you see fit. If you decide to be adventuresome with your mustard (always encouraged), be very cautious and try it out on a small amount of the existing batch. Play with the ingredient levels. You may not like lemons as much. I know that there’s no one out there who doesn’t like balsamic vinegar because you wouldn’t be reading this blog. You may want more or less mayonnaise. You should be able to taste the artichoke hearts pretty clearly. It’s a nice, low-fat dip.
Whatever you do or attempt, be it a dipping sauce or a career change, do it with confidence. You can become a rock star/cowgirl/comic book artist! You can create your own bruschetta to die for that can be proudly placed in the middle of the table at the next potluck you attend!
And when someone, consuming their fourth piece of bread heaped with your bruschetta, asks you why you’re smiling, you can say “I created that condiment. Me. Give me tribute!” Or not, because that sounds a little weird, but you get the picture.
Create that condiment!
Condiment Grrl
During a dark night of the soul when there was no happy musical on Turner Classic Movies, I began reading the list of ingredients and silently cringe at some of the “partially hydrogenate soybean oils” and “palm oils.” There are many great brands that dispense delicious mostly natural products, but how hard could it be to create my own condiments?
The answer is yes, of course, you CAN make your own condiments. The key is confidence and knowing what you want and like, and the operative word here is confidence.
When I was but a child (well, a teenager, but that seems like a child now), I loved acting. I was going to be a stage and movie star! You’ll see! You’ll all see and envy me! That hasn’t happened yet. But when I was in college, I began to realize that I didn’t like acting all that much, but *I* could never write a play. Only “other people” wrote plays. It wasn’t until later when I was improving a piece that I realized that I could, in fact, tell other people what to say and they would say it. I could write a play!
So, I started writing plays, but, I thought to myself, I could NEVER write a book. Why, that was just too hard. Only special people did that, people who had been to literary studies in small towns in Colorado. Then, I just started writing a book and I even managed to finish it. But I could never write a blog, I thought, but then…Oh, that’s a lie. Even I know that ANYONE can write a blog!
I decided to apply my can-do attitude toward the creation of an artichoke dip. I took a can of Trader Joe’s artichoke hearts. Please note that these are packed in water, so there’s no extra oils included. I chopped them up and dumped them in a bowl. Mayonnaise goes with everything, so I dumped some of that in. Balsamic vinegar, of course. I tossed in some julienned sun-dried tomatoes (drained of additional oils), some non-fat plain soy yogurt (it’s a good way to cut down on your mayonnaise content and still have a creamy consistency), and then I made a fatal mistake: I added some of my very favorite Norman Bishop Garlic Dill mustard and it just didn’t work with the other flavors in that context. So, I dumped more mayonnaise in to dilute it, discovered the mixture was too creamy, opened another can of artichoke hearts and put THOSE in, but ultimately ended up with a dish that I snuck onto the serving table, hoping that no one would ask about the travesty that was the artichoke dip.
But, I continued my experiments and this weekend, I managed to find the perfect combination: one can of Artichoke Hearts, ¼ - ½ of a cup of sun-dried tomatoes (drained of excess oil), a dollop (a heaping teaspoon) of low-fat mayonnaise, a dollop of non-fat plain soy yogurt, a dollop Walla Walla Sweet Onion mustard (just creamy and light enough to blend in with the other ingredients), a tablespoon or so of lemon juice, a tablespoon or so of balsamic vinegar, salt, pepper and you have nirvana on a sesame cracker.
Go ahead and try this at home and mix things up as you see fit. If you decide to be adventuresome with your mustard (always encouraged), be very cautious and try it out on a small amount of the existing batch. Play with the ingredient levels. You may not like lemons as much. I know that there’s no one out there who doesn’t like balsamic vinegar because you wouldn’t be reading this blog. You may want more or less mayonnaise. You should be able to taste the artichoke hearts pretty clearly. It’s a nice, low-fat dip.
Whatever you do or attempt, be it a dipping sauce or a career change, do it with confidence. You can become a rock star/cowgirl/comic book artist! You can create your own bruschetta to die for that can be proudly placed in the middle of the table at the next potluck you attend!
And when someone, consuming their fourth piece of bread heaped with your bruschetta, asks you why you’re smiling, you can say “I created that condiment. Me. Give me tribute!” Or not, because that sounds a little weird, but you get the picture.
Create that condiment!
Condiment Grrl
posted by CondimentGrrl at 5:27 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home